Congrats lovely, you’re engaged! I’m sure you have now told everyone, gotten a few wedding magazines at the store and are ready to sit down and plan, right? Before you do, consider ‘quitting’ the things in this post. They will help you focus more on your upcoming marriage and less on the things that distract from your future life together.
Bob Goff talks about Quit Something Thursday in his book “Love Does” and it got me thinking about things to quit doing as an engaged couple. The moment you get engaged, you will likely be marketed to, given advice by many and you might feel incredibly overwhelmed at the idea of planning your wedding. In addition, many couples (or brides) get sucked into all of the wonderful blogs full of inspiration and you start creating someone else’s day. You start to think you need things you never thought about before. While some of those might be valid, there are a lot that are not.
No matter what type of celebration you want to have, what your budget is or how long your engagement season is, I need you to take these three things to heart. They are important and things you should stop doing!
1. Comparing your story or wedding to anyone else’s.
I was reading a social media post on Beating 50 Percent‘s feed the other day that struck me so deep with truth. Don’t compare your relationship or marriage to anyone else’s. You are unique individuals joining together into a one of a kind love and writing your story, as God leads you through it. What one couple’s marriage, social schedule, wedding or life looks like is not going to be yours. It just isn’t. Enjoy the beautiful love you are building and celebrate that.
2. Thinking you “have to” do or have something at your celebration.
Whether it be your guest list size, formality, traditional details or something else, your wedding is YOURS (see point #1). If you want to keep things simple and elope, do it. If you prefer to have a big blow out celebration with glitter and #allthethings, go for it. If you do not want cake, go for coffee or donuts or whatever your heart desires. Not only do trends change with the times, but no one says you absolutely must follow a certain set of rules. So, do your thing!
3. Having wedding tunnel vision
Make sure you take the time to keep your relationship front and center. Though planning your wedding takes a fair amount of time, it is just the beginning of your marriage. Once all the celebration is over and you leave your venue, the rest of your life begins. Do not spend so much time focusing on the wedding festivities alone, that you forget to focus on and invest in your marriage. Make sure you prioritize dates and conversations that have nothing to do with your wedding. Keep doing the things that you enjoy together and make a concerted effort to talk about the big picture lifestyle and goals for the family you are building.
Whatever you choose to do, or not do, during your engagement, I hope that you make prioritizing your relationships part of your priorities. Creating that strong foundation with your soon-to-be spouse and your new family is much more important and certainly longer lasting than any detail at your celebration. If you are overwhelmed, take a gander at our Sweet Beginnings series with tips for couples in the planning process. I’m also here to help, so feel free to email me with questions or concerns, too.
Happy planning, my lovelies. Your marriage day is going to be amazing!